I don’t care if it
Rains or freezes
As long as I got my
Plastic Jesus
Ridin’ on the dashboard
Of my car
Through my trials
And tribulations
And my travels
Through the nation
With my plastic Jesus
I’ll go far
Ridin’ down the thoroughfare
With a nose up in the air
A wreck may be ahead
But he don’t mind
Trouble comin’
He don’t see
He just keeps his eye on me
And any other thing that lies behind
With my plastic Jesus
Goodbye and I’ll go far
I said with my plastic Jesus
Sitting on the dashboard of my car
When I’m in a traffic jam
He don’t care if I say damn
I can let all my curses roll
‘Cause Jesus’ plastico doesn’t hear
‘Cause he’s got a plastic ear
The man who invented plastic
Saved my soul
With my plastic Jesus
Goodbye and I’ll go far
I said with my plastic Jesus
Sitting on the dashboard of my car
And if I weave around at night
Policemen think I’m very tired
They never find my bottle
Though they ask
‘Cause plastic Jesus shelters me
For his head comes off you see
He’s hollow and I use him like a flask
Whoa whoa whoa
Save me
I don’t care if it’s dark or scary
Long as I got magnetic Mary
Ridin’ on the dashboard of my car
I feel that I’m protected amply
I’ve got the love of the whole damn family
Ridin’ on the dashboard of my car
With my plastic Jesus
I said goodbye
And I’ll go far
And I said with my plastic Jesus
I said sitting on the dashboard of my car
When I’m goin’ fornicatin’
I’ve got my ceramic Satan
Sittin’ on the dashboard of my car
Women know I’m on the level
Thanks to the wide-eyed stoneware devil
Sneerin’ from the dashboard of my car
Quirky Faith and Satire on the Open Road
“Plastic Jesus” by Billy Idol brings together humor, satire, and a subtle critique of superficial faith and Americana. The song’s lyrics follow a narrator who finds comfort and protection in the form of a plastic Jesus figurine mounted on the dashboard of his car. Idol pokes fun at the tendency to rely on symbolic religious tokens for luck or absolution, even as the protagonist’s actions—cursing in traffic, hiding liquor, and more—undermine the piety such symbols represent. The song’s playful tone, references to “magnetic Mary” and “ceramic Satan,” and clever wordplay highlight the absurdity of outward displays of faith without genuine conviction. Ultimately, “Plastic Jesus” is a witty exploration of belief, hypocrisy, and the ways we seek reassurance in the everyday chaos of life.
Song Credits
Performed by Billy Idol.
Original songwriters: Ed Rush and George Cromarty.